Sassy Gurlz
by LunaticsRangerBrad
Summary: This is a story about a girl named Blizzard who moves to a new school and has to spy on a group of girls called "The Metals." DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE STORYLINES THAT ARE CREATED BY THE MOVIE "MEAN GIRLS."


It was Blizzard's first day of High School. She used to live in The Brrrgh, and that's where she got homeschooled.

"Here's our new home number... call if you need anything." Blizzard's Mom said.

"Thanks..." Blizzard said. "See you later..."

Blizzard got dropped off by her Mom and Dad, and started to walk across the street. A bus drove by, almost hitting her.

"I'm okay!" Blizzard said as she spun around.

"Alright... see you after school!" Her Dad said.

There she went, to the courtyard of the Toontown Central High School. Clans were standing around talking to each other. Blizzard got nervous when she saw people staring at her. She worked her way up the pathway. After entering the school, she opened her agenda and located her homeroom. When she walked in, she looked around the class and looked for someone to introduce herself to.

"Hi... I don't know if anyone told you about me. I'm a new student. My name is Blizzard."

"Talk to me again and I'll kick your ass..." the girl said.

The whole class laughed. Blizzard looked for a seat and everytime she tried, someone told her to find another. While she walked around, she bumped into the homeroom teacher and coffee spilled everywhere.

"I'm so sorry..." Blizzard apologized.

"It's not you... it's bad luck..." the teacher said. "I'm Mrs. Rainbow."

"Oh... did you quit the Leaf Clan?" Blizzard asked.

"No... my members turned against me, so I retired from the Clan and became a teacher here in Toontown Central." She replied.

Bubblez the tall green bunny stepped into the Classroom.

"Is everything alright here?" Bubblez asked.

"Yeah..." Rainbow replied.

"How was your summer?" Bubblez asked.

"I got kicked from my own clan and became a teacher." Rainbow said.

"Uh... my carpal tunnel came back." Bubblez replied.

"I win..." Rainbow smiled.

Bubblez turned to the class and coughed for attention.

"Okay, everyone. We have a new student who just moved here. She came all the way from The Brrrgh! Her name is Blizzard. Where are you, Blizzard?" Bubblez asked.

"Over here..." Blizzard said.

"Welcome, Blizzard! And... thank you Bubblez..."

"Thank you! And... uh... if you need anything... or want to talk to somebody..." Bubblez said.

"Thanks... maybe some other time when my shirt isn't see-through..." Rainbow laughed.

"Okay... good day everybody!" Bubblez said.

The first day of school was a blur for Blizzard.

"Where are you going?" Treetop Jim asked.

"To the restroom..." Blizzard said.

"Not without a pass..." Treetop Jim replied.

"Well... can I have a pass?" Blizzard asked.

"Haha... Nice try. Have a seat." Jim told her.

Blizzard had never lived in a world where adults didn't trust her. Where they were always yelling at her.

"Don't read ahead!" yelled the Language Arts teacher.

"No green pen!" yelled the Social Studies teacher.

"No food in class!" said the Art teacher.

"Stay in your assigned seat!" yelled the History teacher.

It was now time for lunch. Blizzard looked around. She had many friends in The Brrrgh. Blizzard's day was going horribly wrong. She walked home and ignored her parents when she walked inside.

The next day, Blizzard walked into homeroom. She saw two kids sitting there.

"I like your hair." the boy said.

"This is Anonymous. He's almost too gay to function." the girl said.

"Shut up, Fluffy!" Anonymous said.

Charismatic Chihuahua walked up from behind.

"Nice wig, Fluffy. What's it made out of?" he asked.

"Your Mom's chesthair!" Fluffy screeched.

Blizzard smiled and looked down at her agenda.

"Do you guys know where room D-9 is?" Blizzard asked.

Anonymous took her agenda and stared at it for a moment.

"Health... Tuesday and Thursday..." Anonymous read aloud.

"I think that's in the back building..." Fluffy said. "We'll take you there."

Anonymous, Fluffy, and Blizzard walked into the field, looking for the back building.

"Where's the back building?" Blizzard asked as they walked in the open field.

"It got burned down back in 1946..." Fluffy said.

"Won't we get in trouble for skipping class then..." Blizzard asked.

"We're helping you... don't worry..." Fluffy laughed.

In the Health room that they couldn't navigate, a tall blue dog stood in the middle of the room.

"Don't have sex. You will die. Don't have sex with Cogs. Don't have sex with toontask instructors. Just... don't do it at all..." he said.

The kids sat in the middle of the field. A bunch of toons from Gym Class ran out on the track. Fluffy pointed to a girl.

"That right there is the dumbest girl you will know, Pinky Kitty." Fluffy laughed.

"She once asked me how to spell Orange." Anonymous said.

"And that little one... that's Silly Zowie Nuttyhopper." Fluffy explained as Zowie got hit in the head by a volleyball.

"She knows everything about everyone..." Anonymous said.

"And evil takes a human form in Sasha. Don't be fooled because she may seem like your typical selfish backstabbing slut-face hoe-bag, but in reality, she is so much more than that." Fluffy said.

"She's the queen bee... and a star..." Anonymous said.

"How do I even begin to explain Sasha?" Fluffy asked.

That day Fluffy, Anonymous, and Blizzard went around asking people what they thought of Sasha.

"Sasha is flawless..." Dottie scoffed.

"She has two confetti purses... and a silver necklace..." Starkit said.

"I hear her hair and shirt are ten thousand dollars..." Psychic Leaf laughed.

"I hear she does car commercials... in Paris..." Windstar Leaf said, astonished.

"Her favorite movie is Tooncity Blues..." Raining Glory mumbled.

"One time she met Flippy on a plane..." Funny Lizard said.

"One time she punched me in the face... and it was awesome..." Meow Chihuahua said.

Finally... they stopped asking people about her and it was near the end of the day. They were walking in the hallway.

"Sasha fears nothing... she always wins Spring Fling Queen." Anonymous explained.

"Who cares?" Fluffy asked.

"I care... every year the seniors throw this dance for the underclasses called the Spring Fling... and whoever is elected as Spring Fling King and Queen automatically become in the student activites... and since I'm an active member of the student activities... I would say Yeah... I care..." Anonymous yelled.

"Wow... you really outdid yourself..." Fluffy said.

Fluffy then handed a map to Blizzard of the School.

"This is going to be your guide to Toon High. Now... where you sit in the cafeteria is important... because you got everybody there... you got your Toontask Nerds... Party Toons... Jock Toons... Unfriendly Cats... Toons who eat their feelings... Toons who don't eat anything... Desperate Mice... Burn-Dogs... The Greatest people you will ever meet... And the worst... beware of the metals..."

Galatic Lizard walked up to Blizzard.

"Hey... we're doing a lunchtime survey for new students... can you answer a few questions?" Galatic Lizard asked.

"Okay..." Blizzard said.

"Is your muffin buttered?" Galatic Lizard asked.

"What?" Blizzard asked.

"Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?" Galatic Lizard asked.

"Um..." Blizzard said.

The Lizard Clan member walked away into the hallway.

"That was weird..." Blizzard said as she started to walk back to her table.

"Was that guy bothering you?" Sasha asked.

Blizzard turned around.

"Uh... Maybe..." Blizzard replied.

"Don't mind him... he will lose hope of trying to impress girls in this school..."

Sasha rolled her eyes and then looked at her friends.

"So... are you new here?" Pinky Kitty asked.

"Yeah... I'm from The Brrrgh." Blizzard answered.

"Sit down..." Sasha laughed. So why haven't heard of you?"

"I was homeschooled..." Blizzard said.

"What?" Sasha asked.

"My mom... taught me at h..." Blizzard started.

"Yeah... I know what homeschooled means I'm not retarded..." Sasha said. "So you never actually been to a real school before?"

Blizzard shook her head and looked around.

"Shut up... Shut up!" Sasha laughed.

"I didn't say anything..." Blizzard said.

"Homeschooled? That's really interesting..." Sasha said.

"Thanks..." Blizzard said.

"You're like really pretty..." Sasha said.

"Thank you!" Blizzard smiled.

"So you agree?" Sasha asked.

"What?" Blizzard asked.

"You think you're really pretty..." Sasha said.

"Oh... I don't know..." Blizzard said.

"Oh my god... I love your bracelet!" Sasha said. "Where'd you get it?"

"Oh... My mom made it for me..." Blizzard said.

"It's adorable!" Sasha said.

"So fetch!" Zowie laughed.

"What's fetch?" Sasha asked.

"Oh... it's like slang... from Daisy Gardens!" Zowie answered.

"So... your from The Brrrgh... why are you blue?" Pinky Kitty asked.

"Oh my god Kitty... you can't just ask people why they're blue..." Zowie said.

"Could you give us some privacy for just one second?" Sasha asked.

Blizzard looked around while the girls whispered to one another.

"Okay... you should just know that we really don't do this a lot... so this is like a really huge deal..." Sasha said.

"We want you to have lunch with us everyday for the rest of the week..." Zowie said.

"Oh... no... it's okay..." Blizzard started.

"Cool! Then we'll see you tomorrow!" Sasha laughed.

"On Wednesdays we wear pink!" Kitty said.

In the girls bathroom, Blizzard and Fluffy were talking.

"Oh my god... okay... you have to do it! Okay... and then you have to tell me all the horrible things Sasha says!" Fluffy laughed.

"Sasha seems... sweet!" Blizzard said.

"Sasha is not sweet... she's a scum-sucking rodent... she ruined my life!" Fluffy stammered.

"Why do you hate her?" Blizzard asked.

"What do you mean?" Fluffy asked.

"Sasha, you seem to really hate her..." Blizzard said.

"Yes... what's your question?" Fluffy asked.

"My question is why do you hate her..." Blizzard said.

"I'd rather not tell you..." Fluffy said. "Look... this isn't about hating her... I just think that it would be a fun little experiment if you hang with them and then tell us what they say..."

"Well what do we even talk about?" Blizzard asked.

"Hair products... Flippy... Okay... Can you just do it? Please?" Fluffy asked.

"Okay, fine... Do you have anything pink?" Blizzard asked.

"Yeah... but it's like size 10..." Fluffy said.

"Whatever..." Blizzard said.

It was finally Art Class. Blizzard's favorite class. In front of her sat an orange dog. His name was Zack.

"Alright... let's talk about your homework..." Fireball said.

When Blizzard came home, her parents started asking her a bunch of questions.

"How was your second day?" Dad asked.

"Fine." Blizzard said.

"Were people nice?" Mom asked.

"No..." Blizzard said.

"Did you make any friends?" Dad asked.

"Yes." Blizzard said as she walked away.

The next day at lunch, Blizzard had lunch with the metals again.

"You can't wear a tank-top two days in a row..." Zowie said. "We only wear jeans or track-pants on Fridays. If you break any of these rules... you can't sit with us at lunch... and I don't mean just you... I mean any of us. If I was wearing jeans today... I would be sitting over there, with the math freaks. Oh and we always wait before we ask if someone wants to eat lunch with us."

"I'm going to get cheese fries..." Sasha said.

"So, do you like anybody yet? Who is it?" Zowie asked.

"Zack..." Blizzard said.

"No... you can't like him... he was Sasha's Ex... and friends never date Exs." Zowie said.

Even though Blizzard wasn't allowed to like Zack... she could still hang-out with him.

"So your The Brrrgh girl right?" Ranger Yes asked.

"Yeah..." Blizzard said.

"I'm Ranger Yes. Leader of the hacking team. We participate hacking challenges against other antis in Toontown for practice. And we can get twice as much funding if we've got a girl." he said as Mrs. Rainbow looked over.

"Oh you'd be perfect for it!" Rainbow said.

"Yeah... of course..." Blizzard said.

"Alright... let me give you my card..." Ranger Yes said. "So uh... think it over. Because we want our attention."

"Okay..." Blizzard said as she walked outside.

Blizzard saw Zack playing soccer in the Toon High field.

"Get in loser we're going shopping!" Sasha yelled from behind.

Blizzard walked over and hopped in the car.

"I'm thinking about joining the hack league..." Blizzard said as they walked through the mall.

"No... no... no... you can't do that! It's banicide..." Sasha said. "Toontown will ban you forever like what happened to Brad!"

"Damn... you are so lucky you have us to guide you!" Zowie said.

Blizzard looked over to her right and saw Fluffy smiling at a register. When Blizzard was in the mall, she saw how a bunch of toons were running around near the fountain. It reminded her of the toons who skated on the frozen water at The Brrrgh.

"Oh look at that! It's Tony and Water Kitten!" Zowie laughed.

"I hear they're going out..." Kitty said.

"Wait... Tony is not going out with Water... he cannot blow you off like that!" Sasha told Zowie. "Give me your phone."

Sasha turned away from the fountain and punched in a number.

"Jamie on Punchline Place?" Sasha asked.

"CALLER ID..." Zowie said.

"Hello... may I please speak to Water Kitten?" Sasha asked.

"She's not home yet. Who's calling?" Jamie asked.

"Oh... this is Susan from Silly Street." Sasha said. "I have her test results. If you have her give me a call as soon as she can..."

"Thank you..." Jamie said.

Sasha smiled. "She's not going out with anyone."

"Okay... that was so fetch..." Zowie said.

"Hehe..." Kitty said.

They finally drove to Sasha's house.

"La-la-la... the boys are waiting... my milkshake... it's better than yours... damn right... it's better than yours..." the radio jammed.

"Wow... your house is really nice..." Blizzard said as they pulled up in the driveway.

"I know right..." Sasha said as they all walked in the front door.

"Hey!" Sammy said to her big sister as they walked in.

"Hey Sammy..." Sasha replied.

A tall brown dog in pink clothes walked out from the kitchen holding a puppy.

"Hey hey hey! How are my best girlfriends?" Sasha's mom laughed.

"Hey Sally... this is our new friend Blizzard." Zowie said.

"Hello sweetheart... welcome to our home..." Sally said as she hugged Blizzard. "Just want you to know if you need anything... don't be shy. Okay... there are no rules in this house... I'm a cool mom... Right Sasha?"

"Mom... please stop talking..." Sasha said.

"I'm going to make you girls a hump-day treat!" Sally said.

Sammy was still doing the butt dance in the living room and then she looked back and smiled. The girls went upstairs.

"This is your room?" Blizzard asked.

"It was my parent's room... but I made them trade me..." Sasha said.

"Hey put on 98.8" Zowie said.

"Blizzard... do you even know who sings this?" Sasha asked.

"Um... The Spice Girls?" Blizzard asked.

"I love her! She's like a martian!" Sasha laughed.

"God... my hips are huge!" Kitty shouted.

"Oh please... I have man-shoulders..." Sasha said.

"My hair-line is so weird..." Zowie said.

"My pores are huge..." Sasha said.

"My nailbits suck..." Kitty said.

Then all the girls looked over at Blizzard to see what was wrong with her.

"Uh... I have really bad breath in the morning..." Blizzard said.

"Eww..." Kitty said.

"Hey you guys! Happy hour is from 4 to 6!" Sally said as she walked in with mango smoothies.

"Um... is there alcohol in this?" Blizzard asked.

"Oh, god honey no! What kind of mother do you think I am? Why, do you want a little bit, because if you want to drink I'd rather you do it in the house..." Sally suggested.

"No thank you..." Blizzard said.

"So... you guys... what is the 411?" Sally asked. "What has everybody been up to? What is the hot gossip? Tell me everything. What are you guys listening to? What's the cool jams?"

"Mom... could you go fix your hair?" Sasha asked.

"Okay. You girls keep me young... I love you so much." Sally said.

Kitty gasped. "Oh my god I remember this!"

"I haven't looked at that in forver, Blizzard, It's our burn book." Sasha said.

"We cut out toon's pictures from the yearbook, and then we write comments." Zowie said.

"Dottie is a grotsky little byotch..." Kitty said.

"Still true..." Sasha said.

"Kyle has an amazing ability to surpress his gag reflexes." Zowie said.

"Yup." Sasha agreed.

"Starkit. She made out with a hot dog." Sasha said.

"Fluffy..." Zowie said.

"Who is that?" Kitty asked as she pointed to a guy in the background.

"I think it's that kid named Anonymous." Sasha said.

"Yeah... he's almost too gay to function..." Blizzard said as she tried to fit in.

"That's funny. Put that in there..." Sasha said.

Blizzard looked down on the floor as she drank her mango smoothie.

"Oh no... maybe that was okay when Fluffy said it..." Blizzard said in her mind.

The next day at the mall, Blizzard and Fluffy were talking.

"And they have this book... this Burn Book where they write new things about all the toons in our school..." Blizzard said.

"What does it say about me?" Fluffy asked.

"Your not in it..." Blizzard said.

"Those bitches..." Fluffy cursed. "Blizzard... you've gotta steal that book!"

"No way!" Blizzard said.

"Come on! We can publish and then everyone would see what an ass-wound she really is!" Fluffy yelled.

"I don't steal!" Blizzard said.

"Blizzard... there are two kinds of evil people... people who do evil stuff... and people who see evil stuff being done and don't try to stop it!" Fluffy explained. "Oh look! It's Mrs. Rainbow! Oh my gosh... I love seeing teachers outside of school... it's like seeing a dog walking on its hind legs..."

"Oh, hey guys! What's up? I didn't know you worked here." Rainbow said.

"Yes. Moderately-well soap stores are my favorite." Fluffy agreed.

"I'm here with my boyfriend. Joking... sometimes older people make jokes." Rainbow said.

Anonymous walked into the store.

"My nana takes her wig off when she's drunk..." Anonymous said.

"Your nana and I have that in common..." Rainbow told Anonymous. "No... uh... actually I'm just here because I bartend here a couple times a week down at TJ's Colamities. Blizzard, I hope you do join hack leagues, you know... because we start in a couple of weeks. I would love to have a girl on the team... so the team could meet a girl..."

"I think I'm going to do it..." Blizzard said.

"Great!" Rainbow said.

"You can't join hack leagues it's banicide!" Anonymous shouted.

"Thanks... Anonymous." Rainbow said. "Well... this has been sufficiently awkward... and I'll see you guys tomorrow!"

"Oh man that is bleak..." Fluffy said as Mrs. Rainbow walked away. "So... when are you going to see Sasha again?"

"I can't spy on her anymore. It's weird!" Blizzard said.

"Come on! She's never going to find out! It will just be our little secret!" Fluffy said.


End file.
